The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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