I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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