Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
