Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
