I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
