You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
