The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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