He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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