Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
