If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
