In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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