Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
