Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
