I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
