What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
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