When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
