yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
