Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
