Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
