Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
