I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
