What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
