But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Randomize