Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
