fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
