Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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