Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
