Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
