we made out on top of his cat.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
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