Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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