i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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