Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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