I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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