I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
