Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
