GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Drunk is not a location!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
