can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
