If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
