Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You were trust falling into bushes
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
