My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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