I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
