was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
