If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
If that was your dad, he is hot
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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