so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Randomize