I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize