I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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