I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
