He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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