Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I still have a little drunk in my system
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
