oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize