i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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