Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize