Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i came on her dog
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
