Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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