I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
