Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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