other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
