The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
