I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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