i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
