did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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