he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
