when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
