New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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