Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
